It's over...

Hi folk. Maybe folk(s), but I'm certain that I have but one reader after such a long hiatus. Sorry I've been away. Much ado about student teaching. I ended my first placement and began my second, and the two couldn't be more different unless one was at the North Pole and the other at the South. To give my NC reader(s) an idea of what I mean, picture my first placement at Northern Adirondack, and my second placement at Beverly Hills.

We're talking smart boards, people. And color copiers. And twelve-hole punchers. And enough books for every kid in class.

Guess which one I like better so far? If you know me, you won't have to think too long.

Anyway, I just got off the phone after making a very tough call. I had to finally admit to myself that I can no longer give the statewide advocacy group the attention it demands, and I called our president to tell her that I won't be seeking a second term. To me, it felt yucky. It felt like giving up. I thought, "I'm letting everyone down. I should have tried harder." But you know what I think, folk(s)?

I think they probably won't much care.

I've missed two out of the last three meetings; I don't make the conference calls; and I've raised $0.00 dollars for the organization. I'm dead weight, and they'll probably be relieved that I cut myself loose. I needed to acknowledge that there are things I simply cannot do now. My life is in transition, and I need to simplify, even if I feel damn guilty for doing it. And the truth is that I shouldn't feel guilty. Guilt is not a good enough reason to be on this board, any more than "needing some important-sounding organization to put on my resume" is. Which, quite frankly, were the two reasons I was waffling. And this group is doing such critical work that they deserve better.

So it's over. I feel bad. I also feel better.