Please don't shoot!

I have been threatened with bodily harm (as opposed to the other kind?) if I don't blog today. But I'm tired and sore from tennis yesterday, because we had this amazing volley of 67 returns and after that, I was whupped. No tennis today. Body cannot take it. I can blog, but that's about it.

Last night, I went over to the Spring Festival and met up with some sorority sisters. We fraternized (ha ha! Get it? Sorority sisters fraternizing? Pretty witty, ain't I?). One of my sisters has a relative in the rape crisis counseling vein, and she just started venting about what a crusader her sister is. "I'm sorry," she said, "but if a girl gets into a truck, takes her clothes off, and then tells the guy to stop, then maybe the rape isn't her fault, but she sure made some bad choices. And does anybody counsel her on how to stop making bad choices?"

This line of reasoning I have heard so often that it just makes me sigh now. I had plenty of well-rehearsed rejoinders, come-backs that might have shifted the paradigm a little, but you know what, sports fans?

I didn't have it in me to care.

I know how awful that sounds. I wish I could feel bad for it, but I don't. The honest truth is that people who look at you as an activist tend to discount any rational argument you could make. I read this great quote on one of the blogs I visit, and it said: "If someone didn't use logic or reason to form an opinion, you're not going to be able to use logic or reason to get them to change it."

I could have talked to her about counseling for pedophiles and rapists, which is damn near non-existant. I mean, getting into a truck might be a bad choice, and taking off one's clothes might be a bad choice, and so on, but I'm of the opinion that forcing someone to have sex with you when they have indicated that they no longer want to (or never wanted to at all) is the Mother of All Bad Choices. So maybe we should address that one first. Because the other way implies that there is only one person involved in a rape, or that rape is just something "out there," like cold or bubonic plague. That it's something smart girls protect themselves from, and stupid girls catch. With all this talk about the victim (on a variety of fronts, I might add), we're forgetting the significant half of the equation. If we didn't have rapists, we wouldn't have rape.

But I didn't say any of that. I've been tired of the talk for about three years now. I'm not so jaded that I'm giving up. I'm just not willing to sacrifice normal outings and conversations for my Cause anymore. I'm not willing to lecture my friends; they tend to avoid me after a while.

I'm tired. Did I mention that I'm tired? I'm not too proud to admit that I can't crusade for now. I hope the feminists will forgive me, but I've healed myself so much over the years that I can handle it if they don't. I now have Boundaries (a former supervisor of mine would be SO proud).

This is not to suggest that I'm out of the fight. I'm just resting.