Damn, I'm good.
Well, this post is going to win me some friends and influence people, but it just has to be said. Now, please don't take offense; don't think I'm an arrogant, insufferable biotch -- it might be true, but don't think it. Because I just have to get this off my chest:
I'm good.
No, I mean it. I'm really, really good at some things, and when given the opportunity, I don't just shine. I glow, baby. I light up like a Vegas casino. I can be seen from space.
I know it sounds horrible. I'm supposed to be modest and unassuming, like all good girls. I'm not supposed to know I'm good, and if I even suspect such a thing, I shouldn't go around saying it. I'll put a little caveat in, just so no one feels obligated to flame me for my hubris. I'm not good at everything, okay? I can't, for example, juggle. I can't do a cartwheel. I certainly can't manage money, and I haven't successfully balanced a quarter on the end of my nose. But when I'm good, I'm really, really good.
And I'm good at teaching.
Today was our group presentation. My brochure got rave reviews, and my husband overheard my teacher talking with another professor about what a great presenter I was. Is it wrong for me to own this? Can I toot my own horn a little? Or should I brush off the praise with a wave of my hand and insist that it was nothing?
It was not nothing. It was most definitely something. I'm working hard. For the first time in my academic career, my classes mean my future, so I'm paying attention. I'm developing mad skills, and redefining myself. And you know what I've decided the definition of "Tierant" is?
Damn good.
I'm good.
No, I mean it. I'm really, really good at some things, and when given the opportunity, I don't just shine. I glow, baby. I light up like a Vegas casino. I can be seen from space.
I know it sounds horrible. I'm supposed to be modest and unassuming, like all good girls. I'm not supposed to know I'm good, and if I even suspect such a thing, I shouldn't go around saying it. I'll put a little caveat in, just so no one feels obligated to flame me for my hubris. I'm not good at everything, okay? I can't, for example, juggle. I can't do a cartwheel. I certainly can't manage money, and I haven't successfully balanced a quarter on the end of my nose. But when I'm good, I'm really, really good.
And I'm good at teaching.
Today was our group presentation. My brochure got rave reviews, and my husband overheard my teacher talking with another professor about what a great presenter I was. Is it wrong for me to own this? Can I toot my own horn a little? Or should I brush off the praise with a wave of my hand and insist that it was nothing?
It was not nothing. It was most definitely something. I'm working hard. For the first time in my academic career, my classes mean my future, so I'm paying attention. I'm developing mad skills, and redefining myself. And you know what I've decided the definition of "Tierant" is?
Damn good.
posted by Tierant at Thursday, March 24, 2005
3 Comments:
You're right. You're not good at everything. I'm your sister and I know that for a fact. You are a horrible person to lend money to, you run up a hell of a phone bill, and you never let me pick out my own outfits when I was little, leading to pictures in horrendous 80s clothing that I wish a cleansing fire would remove all traces of...
But you are a damn fine educator. I know. I put up with years of "school" where neither flood nor hurricane could deter you from being an insufferable know-it-all...
Congratulations! You'll make a wonderful teacher.
See why I love my little sister? She's a bigger smart-ass than me. But I don't know why she insists on thinking she has a will of her own. I should have her well-trained by now, yet she continues to labor under the delusion of self-determination. She thinks I'm going to allow her to move hundreds of miles away from me. What a fool! Don't start nothing, won't be nothing!
Good heavens! If you need me to tell you more often how fabulously intelligent you are and what a gifted educator you are, I certainly will! I am glad you are able to admit it to yourself.
Yes, of course there is a certain amount of humility we must display in order to allow the others around us to shine, in order to show respect for everyone's specialness, and also to not seems like big-headed fools. However, there is something to be said for moments of mature and well-applied pride. It's completely healthy to toot your own horn on occasion - and more often than you'd think!
I myself am getting some teachings on this very thing lately, as I find myself struggling to balance my feelings of magnitude and also apologizing left and right for being insane. The truth is, as an older, wiser co-worker pointed out to me, I have nothing to apologize for! I am beautiful and talented, intelligent and gifted, and I need to stop apologizing for being the great person that I am. Needless to say I really heard her, and took her advice to heart. I did some serious soul searching on Thursday night, because I felt the truth of what she said, and saw how I make my life smaller when I cast myself in that light. The truth is I am a wealth of knowledge, and I am turning my new store upside down and being a tremendous asset to the company right now.
Be proud! We are all entitled to see ourselves that way, and there is indeed a healthy way to express it.
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