Academia
Today I ate lunch with four other graduate students. We discussed teaching, college, football and a host of other topics, and I had so much fun. I don't know if I've made it clear, but I love where my life is right now. What a difference from a year ago!
I know it's not the work, because I'm still volunteering in the same capacity for another agency. It must have been the place. I hate to say it, because it sounds so disloyal, but I think my friend was right: Plattsburgh was killing me. I need that intensity; I have to be engaged. I might be lazy, but I don't sit around. And intellectual stimulation is absolutely essential to me -- it's like the air I breathe. I crave it.
So much easier now to think about writing, to plan for the future, to dream about family and home and fulfilling career. It's close...very, very close. Just have to be patient a little while longer.
The workload, of course, sucks. No, no -- I'm totally lying. It's crushing and brutal and I LOVE IT. So now we know one more thing about me: I'm a closet masochist (as evidenced by the scarring on my wrists and ankles, and my penchant for candle wax).
I know it's not the work, because I'm still volunteering in the same capacity for another agency. It must have been the place. I hate to say it, because it sounds so disloyal, but I think my friend was right: Plattsburgh was killing me. I need that intensity; I have to be engaged. I might be lazy, but I don't sit around. And intellectual stimulation is absolutely essential to me -- it's like the air I breathe. I crave it.
So much easier now to think about writing, to plan for the future, to dream about family and home and fulfilling career. It's close...very, very close. Just have to be patient a little while longer.
The workload, of course, sucks. No, no -- I'm totally lying. It's crushing and brutal and I LOVE IT. So now we know one more thing about me: I'm a closet masochist (as evidenced by the scarring on my wrists and ankles, and my penchant for candle wax).
posted by Tierant at Thursday, February 03, 2005
3 Comments:
Since you're being so open about this, does "Closet Masochist" mean you derive pleasure from being tied up among your collection of anoraks and evening gowns? I'm confused.
I'm home until 3, should you have a moment to call. I'll be off the net at around 9.
I am so happy for you, and so proud of you! When I emerge from my winter sloth, we'll have to have some stimulating conversation of our own. Right now I'm about as stimulating as a bracket fungus.
Hi Tierney!
It's Laurie from over on LiveJournal. I'm glad you got in touch, though very sorry you had to go through so much shit at the agency. Was there anything that I could have done differently that would have made things better for you?
Sounds like the move was good, and you are doing exciting things by going back to school. Don't beat yourself up if you can't devote hours and hours a day to your writing right now. To eveything there is a season..
Take Care and Keep Speaking Up!!!
Laurie
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