The thing you should know about Scholar
is that he snores. VERY LOUDLY. And while some people might advocate rolling him over or pinching his nose, those people have no inkling of the stubborn streak within my husband. He is determined to snore. VERY LOUDLY. So there's no help for it but waking him up and praying he will be kind enough to wait until I fall asleep before he starts snoring -- I mean -- sleeping again.
Last night was horrible.
I haven't slept well in about a week. My hips hurt, and I can no longer sleep on my back or stomach. So I was praying that I would fall right into slumberland and stay there for...oh, about a month or so. At about 1:30, the rafters started shaking. At 2, I rolled over and poked him. At 2:25, I gathered my pillows and left our bedroom, shaking with exhaustion and righteous indignation.
"You need to stop crying," Scholar muttered, still mostly asleep.
"YOU NEED TO STOP SNORING!" I shrieked. "You have to do something about this!"
As if the whole problem was him and had nothing to do with me being sixteen weeks pregnant! Anyway, I went into the spare bedroom, where I discovered that in our absence, the cats had vomited on the sheets. I changed the sheets. I went downstairs and made myself a mug of hot milk and Irish Creme-flavored Coffee Mate. Oh, it was delicious. I settled myself down, my head hit the pillow...
about ten minutes later, my own snoring woke me up. I ask you, is that karma or what?
Last night was horrible.
I haven't slept well in about a week. My hips hurt, and I can no longer sleep on my back or stomach. So I was praying that I would fall right into slumberland and stay there for...oh, about a month or so. At about 1:30, the rafters started shaking. At 2, I rolled over and poked him. At 2:25, I gathered my pillows and left our bedroom, shaking with exhaustion and righteous indignation.
"You need to stop crying," Scholar muttered, still mostly asleep.
"YOU NEED TO STOP SNORING!" I shrieked. "You have to do something about this!"
As if the whole problem was him and had nothing to do with me being sixteen weeks pregnant! Anyway, I went into the spare bedroom, where I discovered that in our absence, the cats had vomited on the sheets. I changed the sheets. I went downstairs and made myself a mug of hot milk and Irish Creme-flavored Coffee Mate. Oh, it was delicious. I settled myself down, my head hit the pillow...
about ten minutes later, my own snoring woke me up. I ask you, is that karma or what?
posted by Tierant at Friday, June 09, 2006
6 Comments:
Am posting you a cd of obnoxious bagpipe music by the morning's post. (Yes,there are other kinds of bagpipe music, but that is purely beside the point)
Put said CD into a well concealed CD player, preferably under scholar's side of the bed. Set the volume high. Very, very high.
When the snoring commences,hit play.
The snoring will stop. Shut the CD player off.
When scholar falls asleep, and the snoring commences again, hit play again.
Once again, the snoring will stop.
If, as is likely, scholar would like to know exactly what you are doing, explain that you are helping him identify the subconcious triggers that prompt him to snore. Repeated applications of bagpipe music will create a pavlovian affect, where he will learn (subconciously) to avoid snoring for fear of bagpipes. Your nights will be blissful.
Or he will kill you.
But I'm thinking option one is far more likely.
Yes, but will he start going commando under his kilt? Actually, that might be an added benefit.
My hubby was the exact same way. Does he have trouble staying awake too? My hubby finally went to the doc and was diagnosed with sleep apnea. He now wears air at night and guess what? No more snoring!!!!!!!!!!
givingmommy.typepad.com
Well, yes, now that you mention it. He does have problems staying awake. He's promised he'll see a doctor about it, but hasn't yet made the appointment. I should probably push him. Thanks for the advice, Lisa.
You women folk out to be up cleaning all night anyway..
I agree with you-en Sam. How come they ain't up doing them Chors and Such..I know fer a fact them Horses need a tenden..fences a mendin..and sailboats a scrapen..Yes Sir..
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